


Ho, Ho, Ho, Jack!

by Shamashe



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Humor, Romance, christmas theme, costuming, flirt, references to S2 E13, tease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 05:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5528426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shamashe/pseuds/Shamashe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack has fun playing Santa – Phryne plays as his elf.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ho, Ho, Ho, Jack!

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as an addition to the set of poems I recently added to the old Phracku post. I was thinking of Phryne’s red coat/white fur outfit (in “Murder under the Mistletoe”) during a personal debate I had about women playing Santa. Anyway, it became more involved than a poem and so, became my first Christmas fic.  
> I hope you enjoy it. P.S. The reference to Penzance, is from “Phracku, S1, E6: Ruddy Gore.”  
> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone and thank you for your amazing writing "gifts!"

 

Jack had always liked acting. He remembered with great fondness his “play” days at school and some theater work he did - well, maybe not Penzance - but he did like acting. Although he certainly wasn’t acting while working, he sometimes couldn’t help but wonder if some of what he did on the job was a type of acting. Pausing, for the effect it had on a suspect; issuing certain orders in front of a suspect to put the squeeze on them; pretending to be more at ease at times than he might feel. Perhaps his acting roots lent themselves to his on the job “performances” more than he knew.  

And then there was Miss Fisher. Oh, how he had to act like she wasn’t affecting him sometimes -- when she perched on the edge of his desk; when she leaned just a bit too close to examine evidence or straighten his tie or run her hands under his lapels; the way she said his name; but especially when she sidled up to him during a case and deduced some brilliant conclusion. He couldn’t/wouldn’t allow himself to really show her how she affected him at such times. 

Like last year. When she had taken her family and Dr. McMillian up to their chalet for Christmas in July and had, upon arrival, discovered a murder, which became a series of murders based on the “Twelve Days of Christmas.” He and Constable Collins had gone there to investigate after Miss Williams had called. There had been a moment in the hallway, after he told Phryne to lock herself in, when he had been very tempted to take her up on her implied offer to come into her room. But he could not, not while things were unsettled. Not while she was in danger. Not until he could sort through his feelings.

During the course of that investigation, Phryne had worn an outfit consisting of a red coat with white fur trim and a white fur hat. At some point, she commented to how she felt it made her look like Santa Claus. When he objected, stating some ridiculous point about how she wasn’t big enough or tall enough and how only men could be Santa, she had challenged him with some equally ridiculous taunts about how he thought Santa should be portrayed.

It ended up - after the whole household became part of the debate - as a bet that if he didn’t solve the case before the next “number” came up, he would have to play Santa at the upcoming Children’s Charity event. Somehow, he thought that he might have gotten wrangled into it anyway and the bet was just a good excuse.

Circumstances like that made his head hurt. A simple, unguarded moment of him feeling aroused at her choice of costume had become a free for all. And in him failing to solve the case ahead of the numbers, he had lost the bet and was now going to have to play Santa. How had _that_ happened? Too fast, that’s how! Had he not been fantasizing about Phryne wrapped up in fur and him uncovering her, … so very slowly, he would have excused himself from the whole conversation and avoided the bet.

But he hadn’t, because Phryne had been laughing about how, if he became Santa, she would volunteer to serve as his elf. He did manage a laugh at that idea, but had to stifle a groan when she came up to him later and whispered in his ear, “Jack, if you accept and play Santa, I’ll come and sit on your lap. Would that make it worth it?” He had to admit that playing Santa wasn’t such a bad idea after all. But oh, that woman! How she affected him!       

Meanwhile, case conquered and Jack playing Santa a done deal, Phryne turned her attention to “helping” the cause. Phryne wasn’t about to let Jack wear some tacky old used Santa costume, so she called Madame Fleuri to order one for him. It required a few investigative skills to assess his size, but all it really took was a quick trip to his office and a plausible cover story that allowed her to trace his shoes and check his coat size. She simply guessed at his measurements, assuming that her innate knowledge of men’s trouser and jacket sizes would serve the purpose.

A week later, she walked into his office, wearing, of course, her red coat with the white fur trim. She carried a rather large package and perched on the edge of his desk to wait for his return. Under her coat, she wore a special elf costume. She wanted to see his reaction to it and hopefully elicit a blush from him. However, it was the contents of the box that she really wanted to witness being opened.

When Jack returned, he saw her perched on his desk, not unusual, but today she bore a large package on her lap. He walked in quietly, stood behind her and said softly, “To what do I owe the honor of a visit, Miss Fisher?” She jumped and then leaned back into him as she shifted position, they stayed that way for a moment, he - breathing in her expensive French perfume and she - registering his warmth and strength through his suit, feeling his hands holding her arms. “Breathe, Jack!” he said to himself as he stepped back from her.

“Hello, Jack! I’ve brought you a present!” “Now, Miss Fisher, we’ve talked about this before.” “Oh, but it’s for Christmas, Jack! You must open it!” “Yes, well, thank you, you may put it over there, I’ll get to it later, I am rather busy right now.” “Busy, Jack? But the constable told me you were due to go for lunch, which is a coincidence as I am here to whisk you away for the very same. Care to join me?” “Uh, well yes then, Miss Fisher, thank you.” “But first, Jack, you must open the box,” she said with a cheeky grin. “Oh, all right, since you insist.” She smiled broadly, “I do.”

Jack opened the rather large package, raising his eyebrows when he saw the elaborate inscription of _Maison de_ _Fleuri_ on the box top. “Uh oh,” he thought to himself, “What is she up to now?” When he peeled back the layers of tissue he found, to his hidden delight, a tailor-made Santa costume made of soft red velvet and white fur, with a real hair attachable beard and bushy eyebrows. The outfit was complete with a gold buckled large black belt and black patent leather boots. He couldn’t help but touch it and marvel at the luxury of it. “Was this for him to wear?”

Phryne had come up behind him and caught his gasp of pleasure. She said softly, “Yes, it’s for you, Jack.” “But why, Miss Fisher?” “For your spirit of adventure, Jack, for your love of fine things and to let you act as the best Santa ever. It’s a gift to let you express yourself as you wish to. And besides,” she switched sides and whispered in his other ear, “I did promise to sit on your lap and I do so love the feel of velvet…” At that, Jack actually blushed.

“And I have another surprise too!” Jack widened his eyes, “Oh and what could possibly top this one?” “Well, not top it, but compliment it at least!” With that statement, Phryne whipped off her coat and showed him her rather abbreviated _elf_ costume. He simply stared at her. It was beautiful - playful and elegant. Then he realized he was staring.  

“Um, Miss Fisher, don’t you think you should be wearing a bit more clothing in front of the children?” “Why yes, Jack, you’re right and I do happen to have a top and skirt here that can be attached, I wonder if you could help me with them?” She reached around and flipped up the back layers to show him where there were buttons underneath the shorter tunic - they attached a longer layer and an apron of sorts. “Just attach them there and there, Jack,” she said, guiding his hands around her waist under the tunic.

Jack bent to one knee. From his position, he could see her knickers and garters. He rolled his eyes and grinned, following her hands, noting the softness and warmth of the velvet she too was wearing. He lingered a moment longer than was necessary to do up her buttons and then smoothed the fabric into place over her hips. He heard her breath catch and looked up at her eyes, which were darkening. He flashed her a quick heated look as he rose up, then a lopsided smile and said, “Will this do - for the children?” She nodded, still gazing at him through her lashes.

“Excellent, now unless you expect me to don _my_ costume, lets be off to lunch - and thank you for showing me yours!” Jack cleared this throat, still looking at her revealing costume. Phryne said, “Something else, Jack?” “It’s very, uh, intricate isn’t it?” Phryne nodded with a smirk. Jack took a deep breath and bravely said, “Perhaps, Miss Fisher, you might model the pieces of this outfit for me at some other time, so that I can better appreciate its construction.” “Why yes, Jack, what a marvelous idea. It is deceptive, being more complex to take off than to put on.” Jack swallowed, “Yes, well, I’m sure Dot can help you with that.” Phryne’s smirk broadened to a smile, “Hummm.”

“I have to attend to something, Miss Fisher. But if you will wait a moment, I’ll be happy to escort you to lunch.” He needed a moment to collect himself. “Damn that woman!” Jack thought, “She always manages to get under my skin. How am I going to be able to play Santa with her around in that costume?” He sighed.

When he returned to his office, Phryne had donned a blouse and pair of trousers and was holding up the elf costume. She quirked her eyebrow and grinned at him, “I do believe I’ll save _this_ particular costume for some other time.” She swiped off the elf hat and replaced it with her own hat. Then she said seriously, “You need not worry about my being properly attired for the charity event, Jack. But I do wish you to enjoy playing Santa, so I hope you’ll accept my gift.” “With all my heart, Miss Fisher and thank you! It’s a kind and generous offer. I think I shall enjoy playing Santa after all - shall we?” Jack offered her his arm and they left for lunch.

A few days later, Jack suited up. He stomped into the patent leather boots, buckled the large belt and padded the front of the suit with pillows. Then he attached the beard, fearing it would be scratchy, but finding the real hair to be quite comfortable. It was a bit odd pasting fake eyebrows over his, but overall he liked the effect. When he put on the hat, all he could really see was his eyes and he was surprised to see himself looking downright merry when he looked in the mirror. He practiced his Santa laugh a few times and found that he had to adjust his pitch quite a bit, but finally achieved a hearty Ho, Ho, Ho! It made him smile.

As he was paraded up to his throne, through a throng of children all laughing and clapping and shouting “Santa,” he got more into his character - throwing out his arm and uttering his hearty Ho, Ho, Ho, while tossing a large sack over his shoulder. It was odd to walk with the padding and the patent leather boots, but he soon got the hang of it and even achieved a bit of swagger as he proceeded up onto the stage. By the time he got there he was acting in full Santa mode, patting his lap and propping the little children up onto his knee. He almost teared up though, when one little girl looked at him so adoringly and so lovingly. He thought to himself how much he would have enjoyed being a father.          

He was curious about what Phryne would actually wear as his elf, but found, to his relief, that she was modestly attired in a long green tunic with striped stockings, booties and a pointy hat. She looked unlike anything else he had ever seen her look like. She actually did look elfin with her short black cap of hair and her small, trim figure.

There wasn’t any time to have much eye contact or conversation as all she did was introduce the children by name to “Santa,” have the photographer snap them and then lead them back to their parents to bring up the next child. It was a lot of work, but she looked like she was enjoying it.

Jack meanwhile, was having a good time, asking each child if they had been good this year and what they wanted for Christmas, then handing them a big candy cane out of his sack, after a surprising number of hugs, both during and after the photograph. Some children cried or were scared, but most children were well behaved, although a few did try to pull his beard off. His hearty Ho, Ho, Ho was a big hit with applause and shouts every time he said it.  

The velvet suit was more comfortable than he had imagined and he was grateful to Phryne for having it made. He wondered if he should hang onto it and play Santa again or donate it to the cause for future Santa’s. Repeat performances like this were definitely an intriguing idea. He rather liked acting when he was anonymous. During a break, his thoughts flitted briefly to Phryne’s other elf costume and he wondered if he would ever really see it as they had flirted about. And then it was back to playing Santa again. This time, his laugh was very real - he was enjoying himself!

As the day wore down and the children trickled away from the photo area and his throne, Jack strode out through the event to peek into the tents and observe the games and puppet shows. Children came up to him to hold onto his leg or reach up to be hugged. He was surrounded by smiles and laughs and looks of awe.

Then he came upon a pen of ponies that somehow had antlers attached to them through little strapped on caps. He walked through the small herd and patted them, calling them “reindeer” names. The adults and the children laughed as he talked to the “reindeer” as if he was getting ready to go and deliver toys.

At that moment, Phryne walked up to him acting as if she was adjusting their collars and straps. She said sotto voce, “Jack, you really are the most marvelous Santa! The children just love you! Are you having fun?” Jack swung around with another Ho, Ho, Ho and knelt down, supposedly to inspect a hoof so he could talk to her for a moment more. “Yes, Miss Fisher, I am indeed having fun, in fact, the most fun I’ve had in awhile. I wasn’t sure what to expect doing this, but it has turned out to be much better than I could have imagined, in fact, I might just do it again sometime.”

Phryne looked up into his face, which was radiating joy through his eyes and said, “You know, Jack, your eyes really are twinkling, I believe you _are_ enjoying this. I’m so glad to see it.” Their glance held. Then he said under his breath, “Thank you, Phryne. And I look forward to seeing you on my lap soon - I haven’t forgotten.” “Does that mean I can be naughty, Santa?” She winked at him. He said with a laugh, “Well, maybe we’ll just have to work on that.”

They both rose up and Phryne attached straps to a small sleigh type carriage that someone had brought into the pen. Jack looked surprised, “Am I supposed to ride in that?” “Oh no, Jack, didn’t anyone tell you? You lift some of the children into this for a quick ride around the pen here. But later, you get to make an exit in a large sleigh wagon pulled by big horses made to look like 'reindeer.' I get to ride in it with you, won’t that be cozy.” He smiled, “ I can’t wait.”

The children loved riding around in the little “sleigh” and the “reindeer” ponies were very cooperative pulling it, even letting the children pet them and feed them carrots. Santa stood in the middle laughingly instructing the “reindeer” not to take off without him.

Eventually, the event was over and Phryne led Jack to his big Santa “sleigh.” It was a large wagon that had been converted and painted to look like a real sleigh. It was pulled by several large, dray horses, wearing antlered caps strapped to their heads, just like the ponies. With their harness bells, some decorative ribbons and the antlers, they almost looked like “reindeer.”

Jack hoisted his big bag into the sleigh wagon and then lifted Phryne in as well. When he stepped into the “sleigh,” he took up the reins and said sideways to Phryne, “Hang on and watch this!” With a big smile, he waved and shouted another “Ho, Ho, Ho, Merrrry Christmas!” Then he flipped the reins shouting, “…Dash away all” and took off at a gallop around the surrounding trees, disappearing from view. The children and the parents stood around waving and the children really thought that Santa had vanished back to the North Pole to get more presents for all the other good little boys and girls. It was a magical moment.     

Phryne shouted to Jack as they raced off, “Do you really know how to drive this thing?” He shouted back, “Oh, yes! I haven’t driven a wagon in years, but I do know how. 'Giddy up, Reindeer!'” As they drove out of sight, he slowed the wagon and let the horses just walk them back to the stables. Phryne said, “Well, that was certainly exhilarating, who knew you had that in you, Jack?” “Well, I did, Miss Fisher, I did!” Then he started laughing, in his normal voice. Joyous, happy and free. “Come closer, Phryne.” He said as he reached out an arm to put around her. “Let’s just enjoy the ride, shall we?”

They sat close together with Phryne’s head on his shoulder as the horses clopped along. She looked up at him and said, “Jack, you never cease to surprise me. Just when I think you won’t do something, you do and in the most amazing ways. You have a real talent for acting and you certainly have a way with children. I’m quite impressed. Everybody was happy and very grateful to you, including me. You made such a good Santa, I hope you’ll do it again sometime.” Jack just smiled and held her closer, relishing the intimacy of the moment. “It _was_ fun, I must admit.”

Then he chuckled and in his Santa voice he said, “But there’s still someone who didn’t get her wish tonight isn’t there?” Phryne looked up at him. “I recall something about you sitting on my lap?” “Now?” “Why yes, little one, climb on up here and sit on Santa’s lap.” He couldn’t keep the laugh out of his voice. Phryne looked at him for a long moment and then snuggled up onto his lap and leaned back into him. He held the reins around her and said, “Now little one, what can I grant _you_ for Christmas?” “Anything, Santa?” Phryne said coyly. “Why yes, I think so, anything you wish, Ho, Ho, Ho!” Jack tensed, not knowing what Phryne would do. Phryne felt him tense, so she turned her head and whispered in his ear. “Kiss me, Jack. Kiss me like you want to, please.” She turned and looked at him, seeing his eyes soften and then darken with desire.

“Yes, Phryne, I will most certainly grant your wish.” He pulled on the reins to stop the horses. They started to graze as he pulled her closer, bending her back so that he could, at last, kiss her. She started to giggle though as his lips came down to touch hers. He pulled back, “Phryne?” “I’m sorry, it’s your beard, Jack. It tickles!” Then she giggled again. “Well, lets take care of that shall we?” Jack pulled the beard off and once again sought her lips, touching softly, tasting and nibbling, then pulling her to him before deepening the kiss. She moaned - he moaned. They finally broke away for air, gazing at each other in wonder and then kissed some more, gently and sweetly and then more deeply before needing to breathe again.

He held her away from him just a bit so he could look at her. He stroked her hair back, his voice deep and soft, “Phryne, thank you!” “For what, Jack?” “For asking me to kiss you. I have wanted to for so long. This was special.” “Well, Jack, it was a Christmas wish after all!” He pressed a finger to her lips, “No Phryne, no jokes, this was very special to me. To let you see how you affect me. It’s something I don’t show you much. But you do.” Phryne looked up at him and touched his face. Then she reached up and brought his head down for another kiss. When they broke away, Phryne said softly, “You affect me too, Jack. I cover it with my flirting, but it’s so much deeper. So I also say thanks. This was special to me too!”

Jack heard a noise coming up behind them, so he moved Phryne off his lap, pulled his beard back on and picked up the reins again. He smiled at her and said, “It probably wouldn’t do to find Santa and his elf necking in the pasture now would it?” Phryne chuckled, “To be continued then, Jack?” “Hummm, after all, you still owe me that private showing of your other costume!” Phryne burst out laughing and said in her deepest voice, “Ho, Ho, Ho!” Jack just smiled and held her hand as they drove back to the stable.


End file.
